Feeling like an old grain buggy.....
Courage doesn't always roar.Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,"I will try again tomorrow."- Mary Anne Radmacher
The first part of this year has been a challenge. There are only two of us that work in my department and with the girl I work with out on maternity leave for 8 weeks I had the whole thing by myself. That was the entire months of February and March and honestly the first quarter of the year is always the busiest. I did pretty good the first couple of weeks and then I started getting behind and after that it was just treading water and trying to keep the worst fires stomped out. She's been back about three weeks now and I've probably still got about two weeks before I'll be all caught back up again. Then again in my line of work you're never really "done" or "caught up" it's literally like being on a treadmill that never stops. It's just a matter of how fast you're running.
I have been thinking and evaluating my photography work lately and does it really matter.
(When I get overwhelmed and stressed my mind has a hard time shutting down so I don't sleep and I spend a lot of time thinking.) I enjoy what I do here. But, not to have a pity party or anything, I just wonder does it really matter. I love all these goofy pictures I take and the silly stories I write but I do get a little discouraged. I've thought about maybe taking some of these pictures and stories I have rattling around in my brain and writing an ebook. No publisher would probably ever be interested in the pictures and the stories of the little places I love and call home but maybe you out there in the internet would be interested.
There are so many blogs now, it's hard to get noticed and my focus is pretty narrow, I know. That doesn't help. Maybe I'm really not that good of a photographer; maybe I'm not that good of a writer. (And no i'm not fishing for compliments.)
All I ever really wanted in life, other than being a professional horse trainer, was to be a writer or artist of some kind. Even at my age it's still disappointing to know that dream will probably never come true.
And yes, maybe this is all a pity party after all.
But, for those of you that read this and care and maybe have thought, "What's up with her?"
Well, this is what's up with me. I'm just a little down and have been for a little while now. I've been sewing and reading and watching way too much Hell on Wheels and a bunch of other period dramas.
But tonight I did pull out my computer and started sorting pictures and edited this one. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things but real life has just stank lately and every time I would look at my pictures I would think how much they sucked and would just close my computer again.
More pity partyness.
I'll hush now and stop being a Debbie Downer. Have a great weekend friends, honestly, and we'll see ya down the road.