Music is the shorthand of emotion. - Leo Tolstoy

Look at me being all deep and philosophical with my Tolstoy quote.

I've always loved music.  Always.  I can remember jamming out to Tina Turner with my mom and learning the finer points of Z.Z. Top with my dad.  And Blondie, my dad loves his Debbie Harry.

It's what I turn to when I'm sad, it's what I jam to when I'm happy, and it's a release when I'm frustrated.

I took voice and piano lessons in 5th and 6th grade and then changed piano teachers in the 7th and had to start over basically from scratch.  What a bummer.  I continued with lessons until the 10th when it just wasn't possible with my schedule anymore but I've continued to play here and there.

I'm really not any good and no I can't play hymns for church.  So there.  Though I would secretly like to. And yet I have been somehow been talked, ambushed, bushwhacked, etc. into playing for church this Sunday.  I'll have to report how that goes.  I've been furiously practicing after Allie goes to bed every night.  How do I get myself into these things?

I have been trying to make times to practice lately and a few weekends ago I brought down my small electronic keyboard from my parent's house so I can finally play at home.  Only took me 7 years.  I also went a few weeks ago and got my guitar restrung.  I am horrible at the guitar.  Horrible.  Maybe, someday I can take some lessons but until then I'll continue to pick at it here and there and learn what I can from books and YouTube.  Oh YouTube, how I love you.

Then there's this thing with the mountain dulcimer.  I've been looking at mountain dulcimers for the past several years but just can't make myself pull the trigger and buy one.  No one has one they want to give away do they?  LOL

If I don't play for the public, if I don't play for church, then why do I play?

I play for me.  I play to enhance my life.  I play because it's a release.  I play for the challenge.  I play to play.  It's one of the few things in my life that is entirely selfish and without merit in any shape, form, or fashion.  I play for me.

At some of the most difficult times in my life I have sat at home alone and banged away on the big antique piano at my parent's house for hours at a time like some sort of Gothic heroine.  All I needed was the sweeping moors outside my window with a bleak bitter rain pounding away at the windows.....

And as big as my problems might have seemed at that time, the music gave me a way to release all that worry and trouble and channel it somewhere else.  I've also sang at the top of my lungs with the windows rolled down when life was really, really good to me.  And no, preppy chick in the car next to me, I do not care what you think.  I do not care that I looked like a maniac.

Do you have something you do just for you?  Do you draw, paint, attempt to play the piano like me?  What do you do for the joy of doing?

Hope you've had a great day my lovelies.  Foodie Friday tomorrow!  


  1. oh my goodness. this is wonderful! i totally understand what you mean. i play music all the time (and can play the banjo all thanks to YouTube) but i really don't play for others as much as i do myself. because i can't help it. if i don't play, i'll bust.
    its the same thing for me with water color painting and photography. i really wouldn't want to take any art classes or anything, because i only want to paint what i feel like and what i really want to. i do expand more with photography, always sharing my images and wanting to learn more, but i never take photos specifically for my blog. i just pick out the ones i want to share, because i take so many pictures all the time of things that just look so wonderful to me that i can't help but snap.
    loved reading this!

    1. Thank goodness someone feels like I do! I've always loved art and music and being creative that it's just a part of me. I know some look at me and either think I'm an overachieving Martha Stewart wanna-be or simply crazy. Creative folks just gotta create!

    2. EXACTLY. i feel like others look at me (and people like us) and their overachiever alert goes off and they start to think i'm reclusive and anti-social because all do is hide away in another world, practicing all the time or something.
      i like that, "Creative folks just gotta create!"
      P.S. I've tagged you for the Sunflower Award, but if you've already gotten it, no hard feelings :)

    3. I have not been nominated for the Sunflower Award yet, thank so much. I'll try to get on that this week. Thanks again!

  2. Amen, Lana! My Daddy spent a lot of money on piano lessons, but it never clicked. But it doesn't matter because I only want to play when I'm by myself. I had a teacher at the Quilt Festival one time that said that she pitied the soul that didn't have some form of creativity that flowed through them.


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